Diamond Jubilation


For the first time ever I am writing this post from within the depths of London’s underground system, hoping to take advantage of the new wireless internet system which was set up last week. It’ll be a race against time as I intend to start and finish whilst underground – I have about ten minutes before I reach Westminster where the signal cuts out, so here goes:

Up until last week I had no plans for how I was going to celebrate Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee – a mixture of apathy and idleness I’m ashamed to say. Stay inside, watch it on tv – it’s going to pour with rain anyway a weasly little voice in the back of my mind kept on saying.

Luckily my brother called to save the day:

“Have you got anything planned for the third?” he asked.

“Oh one or two things,” I replied, as I finished polishing the tv screen.

“I’m playing in a band at the Tower of London if you want to come along,” he said.

“I’m afraid I’ve already said yes to a couple of things,” I maintained, getting my tracksuit bottoms out the drier.

“You’ll be in a VIP area,”

I paused. The word “VIP” always makes things sound ten times more tantalising whatever it is. It’s almost as if you’re so important you need a bodyguard.

“Go on.”

“You’ll have to wear a suit and tie – oh and you should bring I.D. as there’ll be security…”

I stopped replacing the batteries in the TV remote.

“…and there’s a hog roast after.”

This was becoming very tempting indeed. “Anything else I should know?”

“There’ll be cannons.”

“My diary just cleared.”

And so here I am, joining the throngs of dedicated well-wishers, and very happy I did. It may be a little damp but the spirit of jubilee is alive and well – as is my appetite. I am looking forward to that hog roast…


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